When we broke up you added so many pretty girls …
You were ready to move on .
I’m not stupid .
Now I feel like I have to look perfect or another girl will have your attention .
I can’t be fat. Or my make up not look okay. Or my ass not be big enough. I don’t know :/
I gotta be perfect …
Or someone could take you from me :/ or you could find someone better ..
I’m scared ..

Eating just doesn’t matter anymore …

I CAN’T STOP CRYING …

Can’t sleep.
Its not the insomnia.
This shits stress.

… there was probably someone else while you threw me to the side
…
It worries me
…is there someone else?
Did you do like you did last time we were really broke up. & have another girl over? Put your arm around her? Chill with her? Take her home? My head is fucking pounding.
This is scary …

I just can’t take all the thoughts racing.
We break up & your friend count boost so quickly. You even said you added a bunch of random people cause we broke up. Wtf ? Why did you try to replace me so quick ? You ignored me ; didn’t speak to me for hours then all of a sudden started texting & calling, wanting me back ? & then when night comes around you wanna come over but know imma fall asleep just texting ; but no. You’d rather smoke a blunt - hit the bottle - of course . That’s why I just say fuck it, go drink … smoke… whatever. I don’t even know where my own mind is lately. For the past two days you spend the day ignoring me. , the night putting me off. , then get upset when I fall asleep … i don’t even know. Shit feels different. . Not as … I don’t know…
Just not the same …
You said you weren’t in love with me anymore. & didn’t love me nearly as much as you did. … I still believe that .. you wouldn’t have said that if you didn’t mean it ..
Crying myself to sleep?
Yeah … of course …

RIP Taylor

“If we have sex we’re using condoms”
It’s not a matter of protection from a child . He thinks she’s infected I guess. Said that he didn’t want her to end up pregnant … and then him have doubts about if its his or not … that’s crazy.
Shit changes fast.
Better yet. Shit gets real.

“Can you be faithful ? Do you even know how to be? ”
Yeah. she does.

Suck it up and fake a smile.

I think they’re stress related ? 

Because they only occur when I get upset , when I’m thinking too much about shit , or after I cry / while I cry …

It sucks .

They’re so painful .

It’s miserable … 

It bothers me that we’re getting a new cell phone carrier .
Because then it costs to talk to land lines .
& knowing Justin ? He won’t keep paying his cell phone bill -_____-
Then how will I talk to him ? :/

Smh . Shit just keeps getting worse …

I feel sick to my stomach again .
I don’t know if its the hunger , or the stress .
I want to sleep , but both are keeping me awake .
The hunger makes me weak & sluggish .
The stress makes me have headaches and puts me on edge .

I’m miserable . & its somewhat obvious .

So …
What in hell is going to happen ?
What am I gonna end up doing ?
Where the fuck is my life going ?

… I don’t even know .
It’s like I’m loosing sight of my dreams & loosing focus toward my goals … Its like I’m starting to lack motivation …
What the fuck is happening to me .. ?